Once more with feeling

Lately the mower has been attacking me. Yesterday it was water in the fuel filter: I’m driving along and suddenly: phfft! No power. Today, the front yoke of the universal joint disconnected. Or something. (I’m not interested in learning the names of these things, because to do so would imply that I have respect for these bits of devil’s machinery. But I have no respect for them. I hate them. If they weren’t already inanimate I would kill them.) I was going to detail my tremendous feats in dealing with this latest catastrophe, but now I can’t be bothered. The mower won. I’ve retired in defeat. Beaten. Humiliated. Covered in grease, lungs filled with diesel fumes. Curse that metal ogre! Tomorrow, you fiend! I will have my revenge...