Monday, September 04, 2006

I'm blogging this

I tend to be an anxious sort of biddy, and these days feel a sense of dread whenever I leave this farm. It's not to the level of a syndrome or disorder or what-have-you, or at least not as far as I can see or am admitting. I think I'm just out of practice in social situations, and for a shy person this is bad news.

Mum organised a family lunch for yesterday, to celebrate Father's Day. We were all going to a cafe at Brunswick Heads and later we'd stroll along the waterfront for what should have been a pleasant and sweet afternoon. But I didn't want to go. I knew I should, I knew it was probably selfish not to, I knew that it would probably end up being a fun day out and even I (old Eeyore-features) would enjoy it.

But I didn't want to go. At all. At all. On the phone I hemmed and hawed and screwed up my face but it was all just a variation of No.

Mum sounded disappointed but would have understood. Dad would have been fine about it too. Everybody else, ditto. We're not a touchy-feely let's-all-get-together kind of family, and it wouldn't have been the first time I'd missed something like this anyway.

So I was all set to stay home, feeling guilty about not doing something nice for Dad, but to an even greater extent feeling relieved about not having to go anywhere.

But then...

The other day when Mavis and I drove through to Brisbane, the river at Brunswick looked beautiful. I thought about being there to take photos for Flickr or this blog, and suddenly - click! - the balance of motivations tipped. Suddenly I wanted to go there, not stay here. And (no doubt you'll have guessed already) I did go. And it was good. We had a lovely lunch, we sat around and chatted, we wandered off towards the beach and battled our way through the vicious headwinds (the seabreeze was a mite enthusiastic yesterday afternoon) and it was all good. I think Dad had a nice time, and that, after all, was the point of the exercise.

But let's get back to me.

It was the thought of this blog and Flickr which pushed me out into the world yesterday. Maybe that's pitiful, and I really shouldn't need such a push, but I did, and it did, and all was well in the end.

In other words, reader: yay for you! Thanks for reading.

Brunswick Heads at Flickr.